As I sit here writing this post, it may shock some of you to know that I have not even brushed my hair this morning.
I KNOW. And she calls herself a beauty blogger.
Truth be told, I had to run out the door this morning, took one look at the hair I was dealing with, sprayed it with some sea spray, scrunched it a little and cast a quick glance at the general direction of the mirror.
I’m good like that. At being beauty lazy.
Then I started to wonder why my hair even hangs around.
I mean, I wouldn’t hang around someone who treated me with such little respect, only to turn around and expect me to be all lovely, shiny and bouncy when it’s time to go out somewhere swish. No, I would not.
If there were a Hair police and a Hair court, I’d be in some serious trouble.
My “charge” sheet might appear something like this:
Charge #1: Refusal to let her natural colour “shine” through, so visits a salon every six weeks
Charge #2: Often forgets to add a sun treatment to her hair when going to the beach
Charge #3: Regularly assaults hair with straightening irons … without protecting first
Charge #4: Regularly causes grievous hair harm through overuse of hairspray (a lesser charge because she has cut back significantly since the late 1980s)
Charge #5: On more than a few occasions has been known to pack her hair down with half a can of mousse (once again a lesser charge because she has cut back significantly since the late 1980s)
… my courtroom appearance would play out something like this:
How do you plead?
GUILTY, on all counts, your Hair Honour.
I know, I know. I have neglected my hair for far too long. It is in bad need of some TLC. Big time. It wants to be soft again. It wants to be swishy. It wants to shine.
As retribution for crimes to my hair, I am happy to accept your offer of one month’s community hair service using Dove Nutritive Nourishing Oil Care Treatment. I understand the terms of my non-conviction and will report in here with my hair parole officer next month.
What crimes have you committed on you hair? Do you think you need some community hair service?
PS. If you head on over to the Dove Facebook page, you and your hair could be looking VERY good for the next 12 months.