This is my bedside table. Note the lack of styling. I’m not going to get a guest blog post on Table Tonic any time soon, am I?
I took this photo on the weekend but if you were to sneak into my bedroom on any given day of the week then you’d see the same thing.
A stack of mags. So, so glorious and glossy.
See, no matter how obsessed I’ve become with blogs and all things online, I still crave my fix.
And my preferred delivery method for said fix is via the postie. I am not a grab-a-mag-off-the-rack-at-the-supermarket kind of girl. Nah. I like it arriving pristine and wrapped in plastic. In fact, no-one is allowed to so much as touch any fresh arrivals unless I’ve read it from cover to cover first.
Oh, and in a warped purchase justification, I figure the $ I save on subscribing can actually be put to something useful. You know, like that Karen Walker necklace on page 12 of last week’s Grazia?
Obsessed? Definitely. Psycho? Ummm, depends who’s asking.
Mother’s Day is coming up and, well, I’m thinking there’s more than a little room on my bedside table for a new title or three.
And, no, it’s got absolutely nothing to do with Magshop giving all Mother’s Day subscribers a chance to win a CHILD-FREE trip to Italy. Truly. NOT AT ALL.
In my quest to channel my inner-Elizabeth Gilbert, I’ve sent Mr Styling You a memo (Importance High!!) to ensure the following magazines land in my mailbox next month:
1. For a fashion mum like me, Harper’s Bazaar is an absolute must. Just give me page after page of glossy fashion goodness and I’m drooling and dreaming of the ultimate post-Lotto shopping spree.
2. I’m a part-time healthy mum. Pretty good Monday to Thursday. Pretty disappointing Friday to Sunday but I’d like to balance that out by absorbing EVERYTHING from inside the pages of Good Health … while eating dark chocolate and sipping on a glass of red.
3. When I want to pretend like I’m extremely knowledgeable about the hot issues affecting women all around the world (latest lipstick must-haves included), then I would like to resort to quoting from features in Madison to appear highly educated and entertaining at dinner parties. (It has nothing to do with that red wine point mentioned above. Not at all.)
Over the years I’ve become quite skilled at the subtleties of hint dropping. It’s amazing the effect attaching a small PowerPoint presentation can have. In this one I used images that depicted me as happier, more loving wife and mother. The mother featured may have had a body not unlike Scarlett Johansson. The subtleties? Oh, that came from photoshopping www.magshop.com.au to her … arm.
The plan worked. That very night, I was really excited to find Mr Styling You spending a long time browsing the MagShop site.
And because I can’t wait till May 8 to see what’s coming my way, not at all because I like to control things, I accidentally logged on to check the Visa account.
Bad, bad move, Mr Styling You.
Despite my love for Darren Lockyer and all things maroon, I do not, I repeat, do not, want Rugby League Week to land in my mailbox every week.
If you’re reading this, I suggest you rectify the matter immediately. Please refer above to points 1, 2 and 3.
And no, no amount of toast and tea in bed will make up for this slip up … unless of course it’s served to me on the balcony of our Portofino hotel when you win that Magshop competition for me. Just saying.
What lengths have you gone to in order to get exactly what you want for Mother’s Day?