It’s not a silly question. Well, actually it probably is if, like me, you’re married and long out of the random dating scene. I mean, the lengths that apparently girls go to these days lest they get caught in the arms of Mr Right or Right Now on a Saturday night, are just plain exhausting.
Let me explain myself.
Lady Garden maintenance.
What should be just a simple bikini wax is no more. Apparently a whole generation of young girls regularly (and sometimes permanently) remove all evidence … down there … of having ever gone through puberty. And it’s not stopping at a wax strip or two either.
Would you like some Swarovski crystals with that Brazilian? You would? Let me “vajazzle” you. Would you like your bits painted pink or tatooed? No, problems. Care for a vjacial? Only the best for your va-jay-jay. No really, I insist.
Given that I’m flat out scheduling time for a regular old facial … you know … on the face, I was getting a bit worked up about the pressure of adding yet another beauty maintenance regime to my overly packed schedule. (Actually that bit’s a lie. I’m really crap at the whole salon maintenance thing, case in point my obsession with the two-week manicure and even than I never get there back to the salon till the third week)
Well, I relaxed and had a little giggle. At at my beauty cabinet now apparently resplendent with home vajacial products. And at my 14-year-old daughter asking me what a “muff” was (which incidentally brought me immense relief as that meant we weren’t having the vajazzle conversation any time soon).
The I Love My Muff “maintenance kit” ($52.10) includes a wash, spritzer, lotion and wipes. Without getting too much into the nitty gritty of it all (go on, breathe your sigh of relief), the products are great. I kept forgetting to swap the soap for the wash in the shower but once I got into the habit it was all good. If you’re worried about sensitivity … down there … don’t be. The products are paraben-free – so are a damn sight better for your bits than that bar of soap.
And guys, just so you don’t think it’s all about OUR nether regions … I Love My Muffler kits are coming soon.
Faking your outer glow
So, we’ve ticked off the requisite lady garden maintenance, let’s move right along and back up to the face. Great. You with me?
Launching today at Benefit counters around Australia is the Finding Mr Bright kit ($45). I may have squealed when I opened the cute little box.
Inside are four mini versions of my favourite get-your-glow-on products from Benefit:
erase paste (you know how I cannot live without my concealer)
girl meets pearl (perfect for an all-over glow)
posietint (a few small strokes on the apples of your cheeks, a blend and wow, you’re smokin’)
high beam (love this for creating a “youthful” glow when I’m far from it – apply to the cheekbones, brown bones and bridge of your nose)
So what are you waiting for girls? Time for a date night in? Or unleash your inner and outer glow on the town?