I should have seen the warning signs last year when I sat down to read the October edition of Shop Til You Drop. They were all there in a glorious metallic font on the front cover:
Umm, well, ok, surely that’s not aimed at me, I thought, an avid Shop reader since its inception in 2004?
(BTW, I cried when this “virtual shopfront” first arrived in my mailbox. And when the frequency of its delivery increased from quarterly to bi-monthly to monthly, I rejoiced. Finally a magazine devoted to my favourite past-time. Shopping. Pages and pages of fashion ideas, accessible fashion ideas, laid out in an easy-to-see-the-actual-clothes-kind-of-way.)
So, in trepidation I opened the Shop Classic mini-mag, with Lauren Hutton the on the cover. (Pheww, she’s way older than me, no, this mag can’t be aimed at me. And then I read on. Ooh, I like that watch and I like that pair of shoes and look how she’s wearing that Saba jacket with jeans and a white tee.)
OMG. This is what I wear. I am OLDDDDD.
This uneasy feeling about my fave mag was confirmed Friday night on the couch. I sat with a glass of red (if that ain’t confirmation about a mis-matched magazine demographic then I don’t know what is?) ready to open a pristine copy of February 2011’s Shop mag.
Snaps to ed Justine Cullen for reading the state of the economy out there and dedicating a whole mag to products, clothes and accessories all priced under $100. I don’t know ANYONE at the moment who isn’t on a tight budget.
But as I flipped through the pages those feelings I had a couple of months ago came back to haunt me. You know when you can vividly remember a fashion trend from another era and you didn’t even try it back then when you had age on your side? Or you tried it and have destroyed every bit of photographic evidence to prove you ever did? Well, I had page after page of these tricky trends screaming out at me.
1. The crop top. Hello ’90s yuck. Apparently this time round it’s ok because your crop top is floaty and your pants are high-waisted. Double yuck.
2. The chambray shirt. Oh, ok, I did this one in 1990. Country Road and worn tucked in to jeans with a tan leather belt and deck shoes.
3. Pockets hanging out of the front of really short shorts. What is with that? As one of my Twitter followers commented yesterday morning, “they look like sanitary pads sneaking out!!! #gross”. Karen, I could not have put it more succinctly. Thank-you for your so eloquently expressed words.
4. The backpack as a handbag. Oh, I had one of these when my teenagers were babies. Yes, I did. So PRACTICAL for a morning out with two babes under 18 months. So when I see Mary-Kate swinging one over her shoulder, I do briefly wonder if she remembered her spare nappies and baby wipes.
So was my Friday night lost in a sea of fashion moments I’d rather forget than re-visit? No, STYD still dished up some fantastic features (oh my, that sounds like someone’s justification for buying Penthouse).
1. Think Like a Stylist – 17 simple tips that could save you from just about every fashion faux pas.
2. 6 Ways to Reboot Your Style – Great advice on how to “subtly” tweak your look for the year ahead. Love that word subtle.
3. Rachel Gilbert’s home. I want to move in.
I’ve been mulling this over in the last 24 hours and I’ve come to a confronting conclusion. And I’m devastated. I think I’ve out-grown my favourite magazine. It feels just like out-growing my pair of sass & bide jeans (except that can only partly be put down to age, and more likely linked to excessive wine consumption).
Where do I go now for my fashion magazine retail fix? Yes, I’ve got subscriptions to a tonne of other mags but none devotes itself solely to shopping. So please, Justine Cullen, if you’re reading this, could you pretty please make Shop Classic a regular feature? Or better still, turn it into a magazine on its own? I’ll be your most loyal reader.
PS. On another magazine note, this month I’m in Vogue Australia. Not for any of my glamorous “classic-not-tricky-trend” style advice. No, I’ve been interviewed in a feature on Page 78 about the more serious subject of female hair loss.