You’ve just launched your blog’s brand new custom design, you post content daily because you know content is king, you engage and interact with your community, you seem to be checking off all the boxes you have been told will give you blog success, but it is not really coming to you.
The opportunities seem to be going to everyone else and if you see one more person getting that lucky break you think you are going to punch the wall.
Yes. It’s not fair!
And if you keep telling yourself that you’ll never get to the crux of the problem and work out why the opportunities keep passing you by.
Want to know the most powerful of blog success tips? It is the single most reason for the success that my husband and I have had with our travel blog.
Because of it we are often given paid trips around the world, work our blogs full-time, have been invited to speak at industry events, have formed relationships with big brands and companies and have been given many advertising opportunities. We would never have been able to achieve this if had not been for our ability to network.
That word has probably spent a lot of you scurrying underneath the bed in fear right now.
“What? You want me to get out from behind my computer wall and mingle with other people.”
Yes!
I understand your apprehension and fears. Networking is a scary adventure, but so was walking when you first started to learn it. Do you worry about that now?
As with anything in life, the path will be a little rocky at first as you figure out how to make it work for you. But if you want to have success with your blogging, and I am talking long-term success, and I am only talking to those who actually want to make it more than a hobby (which is perfectly fine should this be all you want to do), then you need to become a master at networking.
What is networking?
Networking is a term that to me often sounds a little cold and self-serving. I like to think of it more in terms of building relationships. Every successful business owner, entrepreneur and millionaire will tell you that it is one of the biggest keys to their success.
The truth of the matter is people will do business with those they like and trust.
It’s not really a “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” sort of thing, though there is an element of truth that runs through this. But, it’s not slimy, deviate truth. It is just the way the world works.
If I have a job come up that I am unavailable for, but I have the opportunity to recommend someone else for instead, and I going to recommend that person I have built a relationship for many years, who I know will do a great job, or am I going to recommend someone I don’t know?
Simple really isn’t it.
Case in point. We were recently asked to go on a food tour in New York, but we weren’t going to NYC so couldn’t take it. I was about to say no when I remembered Nikki was going to BlogHer in NYC. I know Nikki, I like her, I trust her. So I asked if she wanted to go instead and write a review for us. So she did. (BTW You can read her New York City food tour post.)
Nikki and I have built a relationship from chatting online and at blogging events. Easy and enjoyable networking – simply getting to know one another.
So all you have to do is become someone that people know, like and trust.
It’s not really a self-serving thing. I believe good things come when you do good things for other people. I have had so many opportunities come from people I know, but this is not why I am friends with them. It is because I genuinely like that person and I feel we have a mutually beneficial relationship.
Here are 8 tips to help you get over the fear of networking and build those quality relationships.
Building relationships take time
When you are networking with people or company representatives they need time to get to know you and understand what it is you do and how you can best help them. Be patient and enjoy the process.
You can’t meet someone once, or have a couple of twitter conversations with them and be asking them to hand over contacts to help you. I get these requests all the time. I will only ever hand my contacts over if I really know who you are and what you offer. It takes time to build this trust.
Be professional and take care of your image
People are forming opinions about you whether you like it or not. Most of the time, I don’t care what people think of me, unless I am acting in a way that is unprofessional, rude and unfriendly.
If you want to form relationships with people who can be the doorway to opportunities, you have to be professional and provide value. Being professional doesn’t mean being boring. You can still be fun and have that professional, leadership image that people want to work with and recommend.
Be careful of what you say and do online as eyes are always watching the online space. It’s harder for people to trust you with opportunities if they see you often being negative, argumentative or unprofessional online.
Respect other’s time
Time is our most precious commodity, so be wary of how you impact upon another person’s time. Do what you can to solve your own problems first before you ask for help from someone else. Make it short and snappy when you do.
If you are networking at events, be aware that some people may have many people pulling on their arm and many jobs they need to fulfil, like preparing for a talk, eating, getting a much needed coffee and going to the toilet.
Or if you are networking online there will be a hundred times more demands being made upon their time. Always follow up with a thank you too. (Yes amazing how often this one gets left off!)
Get to as many events as you can, offline and on.
It is far more powerful to meet people in person so look in your area for any meet up groups connected to your niche. We would often go to a monthly travel meeting attended by so many people within the travel industry. We have made amazing friendships and connections from that which has led to several press trips and partnerships. All created from casual conversation over a few drinks.
Go to as many conferences as you can and make use of the out of class time to network. Don’t just stay in your friendship circles, branch out and meet new people.
Do not hand out your business card during the first sentence you speak. It’s best to hold off and wait until the other person asks for it. This is the most powerful way to be remembered and start a deeper relationship. If not give it casually to the person at the end of the conversation. (TIP: Put your photo on your business card, it’s much easier to remember who you are that way!)
Don’t make it about you
When you are networking with others don’t make the conversation all about you. In fact make it 20%. Another fact of life is that people LOVE to talk about themselves, so if you ask questions to get people to open up about their lives, they will remember you and walk away thinking how lovely you were. That is the best starting point to open up a deeper relationship.
When you aim to network with those who are where you want to be, do not bombard them with questions as to how they can help you. Ask them about their normal lives; it will be such a refreshing break for them. Most successful people are uncomfortable with being treated like a star, they just want to have normal conversations.
We once attended a conference in Florida and we really resonated with one of the speakers. At the after party we asked if we could buy him a drink. We chatted about travel and surfing and his wife and children. We ended up partying with him until the wee hours of the morning. Not once did we ask him about how we could be a successful millionaire like himself. The next day he gave us his phone number and said it was one of the funnest nights he had had after an event and to let him know whenever we needed help. It’s about becoming friends first.
Follow up
Whenever you meet someone new, be sure to follow up with them. Send them a tweet or personal email saying how nice it was to meet them. Send them that helpful link or answer to one of their problems you were discussing together. Ask them if there is any way you can help them.
You might want to suggest a follow up meeting in person. We often reach out to people and arrange coffee dates. This might be a little scarier, but it is a far better way to form personal connections. An important rule we always follow, taught to us by our Floridian friend above, is to cover the bill, especially if you can see the value that you will receive from deepening this relationship.
Be the leader and give first
Remember you will always get back what you give to others. So if you want to be supported and encouraged yourself you must give that to others first. If you begrudge their success then you will begrudge it for yourself and that will be your end result.
Show the online world that you are a leader. This is simple done by walking your talk, being authentic, and reaching out to help others. Get involved in online forums and contribute to conversations and offer advice. You don’t have to be the best of the best to do this. Everyone has something valuable to contribute no matter how big or small.
Never forget where you came from
You’ve put in the hard yards, you’ve networked your butt off, made some great friendships as a result and the opportunities are now starting to flow to you.
The last tip, I believe is the most important. Remember where you came from. Remember that you are not really that special. You are just someone who has found a way to live your dreams, most likely because of the help of many other people.
So never look down upon anyone else from now on who comes to you for help, support or who wants to build a relationship with you.
It might feel like a drain on your time, but lucky you. What an amazing position you have found yourself in. Use that position to do good and give back. You are no better than anyone else who is just starting and looking to find a way to achieve their dreams.
One of the most bizarre things I find about my blogging success is the amount of people who say they are so excited to meet me, or even felt afraid to come up and say hi. To me I am just a regular person going through my day doing what I love. I love meeting new people and I don’t care who they are or what they do, they are worthy of my time simply because they are a person too.
We are all here on this journey together. We are all here to help one another. When you start seeing the world like this and coming from the place of connecting, sharing and serving, so many amazing opportunities will open up for you to enjoy.
The real joy however will come from what you can give back as a result.
What are you thoughts on networking? Has it worked for you as a blogger?
Caz Makepeace is a serial traveller, blogger and sunset mojito drinker. When not writing about travel around the world on y travel blog she is writing about motherhood and mojo making on Moijto Mother. You can connect with her on Facebook and Pinterest
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Editor’s note: Caz is speaking at the Problogger Training Event in Melbourne next week. The two-day event is sold out but if you missed out on a ticket or can’t make the trip to Melbourne, “virtual” tickets are available at $149. This will give you access to audio recordings and downloads from each of the 21 sessions – sessions all aimed at helping you make money off – or because – of your blog. I’m moderating a panel talking about how to get brands knocking on your door … and pay for the privilege of coming inside. Notes on that will be on the blog next week.
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Comments 26
Absolutely sound advice from Caz. Networking doesn’t have to be hard, just have a genuine interest in other people and let your personality shine through.
Love this Gemma – show a genuine interest in others and then be yourself – the connections will follow!
Hi Caz – great advice and thanks for connecting with me. Blogging seems like a steep learning curve at the start, but its not really different to the real world in terms of just genuinely connecting as yourself with an attitude of giving. Thanks again.
I agree Kathy, it is just like the real workd. Be nice and interested is basically it! Been great to connect with you as well
sorry
links shold be with the right words
regards
yaron manager of the site http://www.baj.co.il
http://www.baj.co.il
your blog is just full of GOLD Nikki. What a fabulously informative and humble post. I’m a bit speechless.
xo em
Oh thanks Emily … I’m an over-sharer from way back and I love every one of Caz’ points above.
Thanks Emily! I’ve loved discovering your blog lately btw.
Awesome post! Another very new blogger here lapping up everything written about blogging. One question – how do I get to hear about any local blogger meet ups? I’m not in any blogger loop yet. I love how bloggers are so open to sharing their experience with others – just wonderful 🙂
Hi MinsMash, there is a Queensland Bloggers group on Facebook and they organise regular informal meet-ups plus they’ve held one info day this year. Send me a friend request on Facebook (Nikki Parkinson-Hubbard) and I’ll get you into the group.
Thanks so much Nikki – will do 🙂
Thanks for an awesome post Caz. I’m a bit of a wallflower so networking doesn’t come naturally to me. However I’m taking your advice to heart and coming to #pbevent with a game plan! Looking forward to meeting you and Nikki next week. Cheers!
Yes David. It gets much easier with each new event. I used to be so so shy and socially awkward. Travel really helped to beat that out of me. I was forced to interact with people from all walks of life. It wasn’t long before I realized how fun it was and how I didn’t really need to be afraid of sharing myself either. Will be great to meet you. I know you are coming to the travel blogging dinner so we’ll see you there!
Hi Caz, one of the things I love about blogging is how generous people are at sharing their knowledge. Much more so than in other media in my experience. I’m a chatterbox and I think this makes networking easier, but your point about asking questions and not talking about yourself too much is spot on. I got my first TV job at Channel 9 by being in the right pub at the right time, with a CV in my handbag. That taught me a lot about getting out there. Bit trickier now with all the kids!!
Love that story about your first TV job – and yes, I agree … we share our knowledge and experience more than other media sectors.
Seana! I got a job in a pub once too! My very informal interview with principal. He was mad on Gaelic football and the interview consisted of him talking to me about AFL. I was clueless but must of impressed him with my ability to sound like I was passionate about the game and knew something!! Turned out to be one of the best teaching jobs I ever had!!!
Thanks for this post. It makes so much sense – it was the wake up call that this introvert needed to seriously make plans to get out there and meet more people in the real world, rather than purely focussing on online relationships.
It is really difficult Steve but like anything the more you do it the easier it becomes.
Steve I think you are so great at making connections!! Would be great to see you next Week in Melbourne. A group of travel bloggers (anyone invited) are meeting for dinner and drinks – love for you to come!
Absolutely brilliant piece. Thanks for all the wise words of advice. I’ve just recently been invited to a bloggers dinner. I was unsure about whether I could be bothered going along to be honest but now you’ve whipped my ass into gear! Hopefully it will be a fun night! I love to talk and I LOVE meeting new people so this networking thing is right up my ally.
You never ever know where opportunity can present itself. I’m glad you’ve change your mind because of this post. PS. I love meeting new people too!
Oh that is soooo great to hear! If you love networking then you will do really well with your blogging. It opens up so many doors. I often feel like I can’t be bothered going to events, but I force myself to go and I always have a great time and make awesome connections. It is so worth it. Have fun at the bloggers dinner!
Thank you so much for writing the post and sharing your tips with us.
As a new blogger I absolutely lap this information up as I learn so much from reading about other peoples experiences.
One of the things that resonated with me so much was that it really gets down to being polite, respecting others and to remember our manners.
It is very easy to think that the really successful people have been given it to them on a platter, but as a new blogger I know the huge amount of work that goes into running a blog without having much of a clue about how much more effort goes into the highly successful ones.
I am so grateful for the sharing and genuine help that the blogging community give each other and I couldn’t have got my blog even started if it weren’t for the generosity of another blogger. His mentorship and friendship has been invaluable and I am just so thankful for his help. I hope one day to be able to help others in their journey the way I have been so generously helped.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us and to Nikki for offering her blog as the platform for us to get brilliant blogging advice as well as all of the other brilliant things that she does. X
Kate, I love all that you have to say here. The workload is huge but I genuinely love turning up here every day. I cannot say the same for other jobs I’ve had in my career. And I’m a big believer in the mentor-mentee aspect of any business. Sharing information is good business karma.
I love how you are lapping up the information Kate – exactly how I have always approached things. You’ll have great success because of it.
It is so wonderful to connect with others and have chance to teach and learn. I have learned from so many people and I’ll never forget it. Nikki is someone who I always call on for advice and she is so giving of her time and expertise.