This morning as I was doing my usual trawl around the interwebs I came across an article on the UK’s Daily Mail website.
The heading – School-gate icons: Forget glossy mags, the latest style gurus are mums blogging about what they wear to drop off the children – had me excited. I was excited it wasn’t going to be another celebrity school mum article. No, it was going to be about real mums on fashion budgets who blog about what they wear for the school run.
Much like I do here on Styling You with my Keeping it Real posts.
The gist of the article was this:
(blogs) … have sprung up to offer witty, practical advice to a demographic of mums largely overlooked by fashion magazines and high-end brands.
That’s no surprise, is it? It’s what I’ve seen here – on my blog – and on other mum fashion blogs that I follow (Fox in Flats and Baubles, Bubbles and Bags, I’m looking at you).
We are women who no longer fit into the demographic of the glossy mags – and our lifestyles rarely do – but we still want to pop on a lippy or wear a pair of coloured jeans. Because we can.
We’re refining our style mojo to fit in with our life post-kids. It’s a work in progress but it’s a fun one because we’re more sure of ourselves and our choices than we were in our 20s.
We don’t want to be a slave to trends but we want to have a wardrobe that is modern yet practical.
And that should be ok, shouldn’t it?
Well, according to the comments on this particular blog post, it’s not ok. At all.
Here’s just a (sour) taste of what the Daily Mail readers dished up :
Get a life! The most important thing for me in the morning is getting my daughter to school on time. I ensure SHE looks tidy in her uniform having had a healthy breakfast. This women makes the school play ground a nightmare for other mother’s. Shame on you….
Think these women need to get a proper job, they have too much time on their hands.
Why on earth would it matter what someone wears to drop their children off at school? Fashion is a contrived way of making people feel inadequate and getting them to keep spending money, by constantly changing the styles in the shops. If the children are happy and healthy then it really doesn’t matter whether your skinny jeans are 1cm longer than the next person’s.
Get a life! The school gates are hell enough without you lot making the whole thing worse.
Wowzers. And there are plenty more where those came from.
I must say, I was surprised at the comments.
For starters, I’m so, so grateful that Styling You is not a place that encourages such troll-ish vitriol (BTW, this is a troll-free zone and judgey-ness and abuse will not be tolerated).
For seconders, I’m so, so grateful that you don’t think I’m an utter twat for posting photos of myself in chain-store clothes and things that have been in my wardrobe for years.
The reason I started doing it was that you – my readers – asked for specific ideas on what to wear every day. You know I love nothing more than a daggy day at home but I’m also fond of the dress-up day too. I think that’s just part of my nature. Best I don’t fight it 😉
I certainly do not want people to feel that they have to dress up or dress a certain way every day. I’m very much about celebrating our differences. It would be a boring old world if we all looked the same.
What I have found works for me – and the hundreds of clients that I’ve worked with – is that if you WANT to look put together on any given day, then taking a few extra minutes to do so can make all the difference to how you feel throughout that whole day.
For me that’s dressing to the occasion; dressing to suit my lifestyle; and dressing to suit my personality.
I like to get my hair cut and coloured every six weeks and I tend to wear makeup most days – even if it’s just a two-minute face of Garnier BB cream, some mineral makeup, a bronzer, mascara and a lip balm.
Psychologically this works for me. It may not be your thing but it’s mine.
I certainly don’t critique what others wear for the school run – or anywhere. What catches my eye is someone with a firm grip on their sense of style.
That’s what I very much admire.
You? It’s ok to look ok, isn’t it?
PS. Here are links to the UK blogs mentioned in the article:
PPS. I’ve published a blog post with some simple school run outfit suggestions for an Australian autumn – things you’ve probably already got in your wardrobe. Click here for details.
Comments 124
It’s great to see articles like this. My mum has always put family in front of herself and just teaching her it’s okay to buy a nice pair of boots and a dress for 100$ isn’t something she should feel guilty about.. Especially considering how hard she works, has been very difficult. There can definitely be fashion past 50, it’s a shame the industry isn’t truly recognizing this yet.
There so is Angela … you sound like a lovely daughter!
Ever since I had my children (4 of them), I have made it my rule in life to get up every morning, shower, make my bed, and dress nicely. Whatever happened after that, I always knew that I looked good, even if I felt lousy from being woken too many times during the night. Maybe I’d lie down during the day when the kids slept, but when I got up, I was dressed – and wasn’t in my PJ’s. This was a truly psychological benefit. Whenever I looked in a mirror – I looked good and felt good about myself. Actually, the worse I felt, the more effort I put into what I looked like. My children are a little older now, but I still do the same. There is nothing better than someone else commenting nicely on how you look when you need a little self assurance. Note: I had 4 children under the age of 4!
Wow! Four under four – I think you did well to find that thing that made you still keep it together even when you didn’t feel like it. That’s no small achievement at all!
I’m jealous of those of you who even have time to think about ‘dressing for the school run’ as some sort of separate event in your day – at that time I am dressed for work and go straight there after dropping off my daughter. I think the point is – isn’t that great that some people even have time to worry about what to wear – it must mean you don’t have to rush off to an office to slave away. You lucky people!
The Daily Mail is one of my guilty pleasures. I do read it, but I’m not proud of it. It’s not known as the “Daily Hate” for no reason. This is a paper that thinks Leane Rimes (spelling?) bikini is news and loves nothing more than to incite bitchy comments among women. And they succeed – some of the comments they get are just plain wrong. I don’t know why I read it?
Ahh, don’t you just love airing a dirty secret?!
Hi, I am Beth, and I run Style Guile, (www.styleguile.blogspot.com) one of the blogs covered in the Daily Mail article. I just wanted to thank you all so much for your lovely, positive comments in response to some of the less than pleasant comments which were left on the website. I had never anticipated that the article would cause such a reaction! A healthy debate is always good – abuse less so and I am grateful to you all for the balanced view you have given. Thanks, Beth
Wow… the ‘get a life’ lady sounds like a lady who’d love to give a damn about how she looks but doesnt actually know how…
For the record I’m not a mum but still have days when I want an easy outfit so I can get out the door quickly. I lost my style at 30 something and you have been a real help getting it back … Keep up the great work Nikki & ignore any comments to the contrary:-)
Thanks Dianne … definitely having some quick outfits makes it less stressful whatever the occasion!
Nikki, my husband’s grandmother passed away only a couple of years ago – aged 95! Til the day she died this lady was the epitome of style…she had a “uniform” of black slacks and turtle neck jumpers in only a handful of colours which suited her complexion to a tee. Usually worn with a pretty scarf and a handful of silver bangles – she only ever wore silver or white gold…she carried her favourite shade of lipstick everywhere…I “adopted” her as a sort of mentor, and when I had my babies, the best piece of advice she gave me was to look in the mirror every morning and ask myself whether that was the face I wanted the world to see…in short, she taught me that being a mum doesn’t mean it’s ok to look untidyor like I don’t care about my appearance, and I admit I have worn some make up every day whether I am dropping the girls off at school or at the bus stop now that they’re in high school – it’s just habit and I honestly feel that I’m ready to face the day if I’m well groomed.
Thank you for your “real girl” advice, absolutely love it.xo
Oh Sandra I love that story. What an amazingly stylish lady. I’m all for finding a uniform that works for you. It takes the stress out of the process and helps you to feel comfortable no matter what the day throws at you!
Nikki,
Great stuff as usual. Agree, agree, agree!There’s no need for the ‘mean girl’ comments like the one above – especially as it implies that those involved are in some way neglecting their kids or doing it to make others feel bad. Having kids can create one mother of a fashion dilemma as our bodies change and we have less time, money and energy to do anything about it. It’s important to be kind to ourselves and each other, and support one another regardless of how we look.Besides, we all know that the best accessory is a smile – whether it’s glossy and red, or totally nude. x AndreaPS: thanks for the awesome mention!
Absolutely … and the other thing that happens post kids is that if we’ve worked in an office our whole working life we actually don’t know how to dress casually. That comes as we develop our new style.
Spot on. I didn’t even own flats before I had kids! Even wore heels to the supermarket. Wait – I never even really went to the supermarket!
I think fashion is fun. Just another way of expressing yourself. Nobody would have a go at someone else painting a picture, saying it makes them feel inadequate… why have a go at how someone has created with clothes in the same way? THEY’RE the utter twats, haha xx
So true, Veggie Mama x
Love this post! I have much the same attitude! Off to check out your outfit inspiration xx
Thanks Elisa!
Well, I’ve just read something that is quite the opposite on another blog, one where the Mums are dropping off their children in their PJ’s, designer PJ”s or no, I think this is a darn sight worse than the other scenario, these are the Mum’s that should bear any shame, not the ones that want to face the world head on with their lippy on first thing in the am’s, or at least the hairbrush (I understand some ppl don’t wear make up & that’s aok!) Good on these Mum’s, I bet their children are ready on time, tidy & have had their breakfast too. I’d rather take my child to school late to turn up with clothes on rather than my PJ’s thank you!
I really think it’s up to each individual to find out what works best for them – if that’s no makeup (fine); if that’s a full face (fine again). Let’s celebrate – not criticise – our style choices and differences. That’s what makes life interesting.
Great to read such a positive piece and I’m so pleased to have just discovered your site Nikki!
I run http://www.cocomamastyle.com so thanks for the mention here.
Clearly those negative comments are from people who don’t need any inspiration, they must feel amazing in what they wear already without needing any ideas so good on them!
But for those who look for ideas, us mummy style bloggers are here with our own experiences and style tips, to save other mums the hassle of browsing and thinking of outfits.
Helen aka Cocomama
Welcome Helen! I think the negative commenters enjoy the snarkiness they promote. I have not time for it – well done you for inspiring UK mums x
I think it is all about yourself – like a lot of the other commenter’s have said – I love your keeping it real posts because a lot of us like to look nice but don’t have a designer budget.
I’m not a make-up girl (my skin reacts to most of it) but I do like to look neat and tidy and somewhat fashionable when I step out my front door, it gives me a little self confidence boost.
I think it’s finding what works to give you the confidence boost that you might need. It’s going to be different for me and someone else.
Hi Nicki,
Lordy, I think I’ll be the odd one out commenting here but the main reason I did was to say that the DM is super well-known as troll central. It’s actually encouraged by the paper, so the comments are usually biased that way.
I suspect on this blog I’m in the minority, I rarely wear make up at all. If I’m popping to the shopping centre, it’s trackies or leggings, long top and a cardie in winter or a polar fleece. Well-fitting jeans that someone mentioned above — well, jeans just don’t fit me well, unfortunately, so I don’t have any. If I’m going out further than the local area, it’s possible there will be a slightly better outfit and some mineral powder, contouring powder and an eyebrow pencil. And at home it’s trackies top and bottom with slippers. My only dressing rule is a perfectly fitting bra which I am blessed to have a ton of and can wear them for 18 hr stretches without any discomfort at all.
I so agree with everyone’s comments that it’s all about how you feel. I feel fine in what I wear because I know that how I look is an inner thing not an outer thing. A smile and lots of love makes every outfit a winner 🙂
PS Nicky, I love reading your blog. You’re so entertaining. And your keeping it real pics are always gorgeous. That’s the love right there, it makes every outfit. 🙂
Thank-YOU for the love!
It is so what works for YOU – no pressure to be anything else but YOU.
wow wow and wow – just read the article which was fine … but as you say toxic comments – heavens !! woman bashing women shame shame shame … we are better than that … best le
so much better!
It sounds trite, but reading your blog has made a huge difference to me! I’ve always struggled with style, and when I turned 37 this year a friend and I sat at a cafe and lamented our lack of style. Since then we have taken your advice, shopped together and started to find what works for us.
I really don’t care what anyone else thinks. When I walk out the house in my $9 Big W skinny jeans and a structured jacket (thanks to your recommendations) I feel good, and that makes all the difference in the world.
Oh Catherine, it’s not trite and all these lovely comments are making me tear up. THANK-YOU!
Nikki – keep doing what you are doing. My favourite posts are the keeping it real ones. For someone who would love to dress all stylish but A. it’s not practicle and B. It’s not affordable oh and C. has no clue, this is EXACTLY what I need. I love your blog and so do millions of other aussie mums 🙂
Thanks so much … all emotional now xx
I think it’s ok to dress up or not when dropping your kids off to school. Personally, I’m biased and prefer that I do look well presented. Not to impress anyone else but myself really. It does make me feel good about myself when I’m dressed up in at least a nice pair of jeans, a nice top & a pair of lovely shoes. You don’t need to splurge to look good. But having said tht, I’m pretty lucky to have kids who can dress themselves so that I can concentrate on myself! 😉
Yes, that is a bonus, isn’t it … when the kids are old enough to dress themselves!
I love your take on ‘style yourself to make yourself feel better’ because it’s bloody true! Some days I can barely get out of my pyjamas to do the school run, but if I make a small effort then the rest of the day seems easy, I think because that boost of confidence makes me own my schedule and power through it. I don’t mean to spam your comments, but I blogged about what to wear on the school run at Mix Apparel Blog today. I’m not posting the link so I hope we can still be friends! xx
LOL Mrs BC … please come back and add the link … I went looking for it but couldn’t find it!
Nikki , I love your blog and the photos of what you are wearing. I’ve always liked to dress well (for my own confidence) but you have given me the courage to dress well and incorporate my own style. I still make blunders though even in my 40’s. At least a couple of times a year I buy a dress usually that i think i lurve at the time but then get it home and a week later it might be a case of “what was I thinking, when and where will i wear this??”
Thanks again and also for all the great shops you put us onto. I for one feel like i am in a wonderful community.
Oh, you’re very welcome Annie … and I too make blunders, it’s part of taking the risks in the first place.
What is it with women who feel they need to judge and complain about other peoples choices in order to make themselves feel better? You can’t win! If you look like trash they will be talking, but if you look too good then you have issues. Who are these women who decide when each of us crosses a line one way or the other? Who are they to judge? How is anyone supposed to get the balance just right when our looks and appearance are such a subjective point of view anyway?
And our looks should be subjective … I’ve said before and will say again, how boring would it be if we all looked the same?!
I think the plethora of blogs that discuss “real ” clothes and tips for putting outfits together highlight how the fashion magazines and traditional media are out of touch with a huge demographic. Although I enjoy reading my Vogue and Harpers Bazaar, it it more likely that styling you and other such blogs will give me more practical ideas and influence my purchases (condom dress anyone!) how to pull a practical outfit for a school run or other normal day to day activities resonates more than a sheer lace floaty mini with six inch high prada sling backs to wear to socialite event.
Yes, yes Alison … and that’s what the article in the DM was saying but that all got lost in the nasty comments.
I wear my sheer lace floaty mini with six inch pradas on the school run. always.
Nikki, Thank You! Yesterday was mostly about amazing highs as the article brought incredible traffic to my blog AND lots of lovely positive comments via email, twitter, Facebook and the blog. The only negative comments were within the anonymous ‘safety’ of the DM website. BUT I picked out the positive ones (and there were many) and applauded their bravery within such a hostile environment. A lovely girl left a message on my blog describing the comment section of the DM as ‘a cesspool of hungry piranhas’ LOVE IT!
Thanks also to all the lovely comments on here…it means more than you know xx
Oh, I think I do know … trolls be gone. I run a troll-free zone here and you’re very very welcome any time x
I was most embarrassed that these women were my country women (all-be-it a generation later). Having friends and rellies still in UK I do find some of their posts on FB are very negative, there’s hardly ever any “good on ya” or “wow that was great” etc – so much negativity, putting people down etc. I thought it was due to the lower socio economic areas they came from and other background stuff (and maybe it is) but I have friends here in the same sort of situations who will try to help and boost each other rather than drag them down.
Gee….um…I hope I don’t sound like a snobby prat!
Ms Schoolgatestyle…..keep doing what you’re doing. It’s great that you DID have some positive comments coming through the “proper” channels – your blog as well as some through the DM website.
Great post Nikki, I’ve only just started the drop off this year and I haven’t heard a whisper of this sort of judgment thank god. What would people prefer? That mothers take photos of themselves in moccasins standing in a pile of laundry? Would that be more “real” for people? God forbid a woman might want to put nice pictures of herself or her life on her blog lest it makes someone else feel bad.
I know, God forbid! Love that there’s no judgey stuff at your school!
Aren’t we lucky that we don’t have enough time on our hands to spend it judging each other! What a lovely idea to share what we wear every day … here and in the UK. Gorgeous one day, daggy the next and everything in between.
Thanks for keeping us honest, Nikki. And keeping us in every day style.
My pleasure … I’m so heartened by all the lovely comments here and I know that two of the UK bloggers from the article are too.
Hhhmn aren’t they such a happy lot? I have seen the best dressed and even the most slovenly of people send their children off without food or cleanliness and vice versa, so it’s all completely unrelated- how you dress to how you treat your child! That’s about organisation and so much more.
But I do believe that how you FEEL about yourself and your circumstances can affect how your children feel. If the mums are feeling they are in hell or a nightmare, or second rate, perhaps the children are too. I wonder if they stopped and thought about that. I think those of us with children over the age of about 9, have all at some stage felt our children’s (especially daughter’s) unhappiness and stinging eyes when we are not looking our best, (or have some outlandish hat on for a parade!)and of course, “don’t get out of the car mum!” Really, who wants to embarass their kids and make them feel second rate?
I have rarely done the school run as I am a worker (where I need to dress professionally!), my bus driver does it for me, picks the kids up at our gate and delivers them home. I leave just after and arrive home just before them or they get dropped off at my work. But I have heard of the ‘bow toes’ gang at the gate, and how they are a bit scary! Perhaps as I try to dress well, am a chatter and will talk to anyone, know heaps of people and smile and say hello to everyone I pass- no matter what they are wearing, I don’t have a fear of feeling inferior. I seriously can’t cope with superior beings and like to bring them down to earth with friendliness. I like to include not exclude!
If I am going out of the house into town (a 10 min drive in) then I want to present well -and appropriately, for my family, our business reputation and me! whether its dinner, lunch, work, shopping after work or while the kids are at scouts etc. I always want to look and feel good. For me.
And by the way -My experience is that it all pretty much disappears when the kids get to high school!!!! probably cos the kids make their own way to and fro, and there seems to be a sense of relief at the end of the day that the kids made it without any trouble!
Yes, I’m rarely at school for my eldest children! So true. I think we’d have a lovely chatter if we were ever to meet Jodie! x
Life’s just to short to go hurling nastyness around. I like to put a little effort in to look nice because it makes me feel good. It’s not very kind for those people to look down on someone for that. Each to their own goes both ways. As you’ve shown many many times Nikki it’s not about spending a fortune or going over the top it can be just as easy to toss together a flattering casual outfit as a tracksuit anyway.
Life is too short for such nasty stuff … and yes, with a few key things you can dress just as quickly and comfortably as putting on a tracksuit … blog post brewing 😉
Well said Nikki . I wore PJs to the bus this morning and stayed in the car …years ago it was all about not embarrassing the preteen/ teenager with what I wore.
I barely look what other mums are wearing . Doesn’t bother me though there is one lady always really dressed and makeup’ed and she is a SAHM.
I don’t know how she does it.
Oh, I think my teenager would have something to say about me driving her to the bustop in my pjs … I’d still do it though if required 😉
I just loathe nastiness (online or otherwise!) and feel if someone wants to start a blog about what fashion works for them on the school run then they are entitled to do just that, safe from such vitriol.
I do a daycare run and some days I have to do it in my gym gear and others in much more acceptable clothes. Every time I try to take a little pride in my appearance, because it makes me feel a little better. I’m far less self conscious than I used to be but still like to be sure I am some scale of presentable before I leave the house .
I thank the makeup Lords too for creating Garnier BB cream – makes life so much faster and easier!
Yes, thank the makeup lords for Garnier BB!!!
I think it’s important that we as women take pride in how we dress and how we look. I’m not a mum (not yet anyway) but I think good on mums who still take the initiative to want to look presentable on school runs. When does being a mum automatically equate to looking like something the cat dragged in?
Exactly … there are days when I feel like the proverbial dragged cat … but I can change my whole outlook with a lippy or adding a scarf or necklace to my outfit.
Well, I am going into the world of school runs next year ( with a toddler in tow) personally I do not care what other wear nor do I care what they think of me, But what I do care about is how I look.. If I look presentable … then really I feel better, My head is clearer and I feel more comfortable knowing that i have covered up my bags under my eyes and run a GHD through my fuzzy hair.
Seriously for anyone to see me with my Jackson 5 hair it would be some kind of visual pollution!!
Definitely the case with me Mrs Kan too … just a few simple steps to give myself a bit of lift can make a huge difference all day!
and I thank the goddess my (now) short hair has a bit of a curl and I can just put a bit of product in it and it looks OK. I SO cannot work those dang straightener things any more than I can work the hair blow dryer thing. It would take me an hour to do my hair otherwise!
I have to admit I am shamefully addicted to the Daily Mail website. It’s not good, my brain is rotting. But OMG the comments are always, always, awful on that site.
I have gym gear on every morning with a jacket on top so I imagine most other parents just want to see me in something other than Lycra.
LOL Paula … I don’t think I could stand the comments. The gym gear look is a good standby – you could have been to the gym, are on your way to the gym, or just couldn’t work out what to wear. Keep them guessing!
I think Mums should just do what suits them! For some it means dressing up a bit….for others it means hiding their pj pants under a long coat 🙂 Whatever works, works!
For me…I rarely leave the house without a splash of makeup…mainly because of my skin insecurities but also because that’s how I roll. On my daughter’s kindy days, I usually just drop her off to her classroom & then head back home with the baby. But I still like to look & feel good. I’ll go to the effort of ‘looking good’…it’s a part of our morning routine. Sometimes it may just be a Lorna Jane trackie, and other days it’s a dress & platforms!
At drop off the other week, another Mother said “Oooh you like nice, where are you off to today?” She was a little surprised to hear my response of “Umm…just going to the post office and then home to catch up on emails & housework!”
I usually feel more productive on the days that I make the effort to do my hair, wack on some mascara and dress up a little! But, thats me…..and thats ok!
I do it for me….not to make anyone else feel a certain way!
x
Whatever gets you through the day … some days I dress up; some days I honour my inner dag … everyone should be able to!
I must admit I have overdosed recently on books about the inimitable French style so excuse me if the following sounds a tad evangelical. I’ve been reading through a plethora of books, all released in the last five years, that seek to decipher the way French women really take care of how they look and the image they present to the outside world. And I have to say this would be a non-issue in France where looking good seems to be a national cultural duty. And it needn’t be expensive OR time consuming – how hard is it to slip into a well fitting pair of jeans and team it with a matching top???
The negative reactions to the Daily Mail post would seem to be typical of the quite different way English women view themselves and their lives and even their children. I’m not suggesting they should neglect their kids, but are these women seriously happier with their martyred ‘as long as my child is ok’ approach to life? Do they not deserve to take 5 minutes to dress properly for the day before running out of the house?
It may or may not be the same in Australia, I’m not sure – we certainly share many of the same characteristics with our English cousins of not liking to stand out from the crowd, and an innate suspicion of anyone “too” anything – too beautiful, too skinny, too talented… But since when does looking presentable on the school run equate to ‘showing off’?
Nikki – don’t feel you need to justify either your ‘keeping it real’ posts or your daily beauty routine – you’ve inspired me to up my game and, between you and those French femmes, I feel I’m doing it better every day.
I think the French have it so right. It’s not about money or time. It’s about effortless elegance … black and usually a scarf!
How interesting. I never really notice what other people wear at the school gates. It doesn’t matter to me either way because people are more than just the clothes they choose to wear or not wear.
I would hate it if my kids judged someone by their choice of clothes or make-up. If someone wants to look fabulous at the school gate, let them. If someone wants to be a dag, let them. It makes no difference and should not be an indicator of good or bad parenting. Love your keeping it real fashions posts btw. xx
Yes, I can’t see the link between how you dress and good or bad parenting?! Crazy!!
is what they are getting at is that the mum’s spend all their time blogging/searching blogs/shopping for fab clothes? I don’t know. Every mum I know who looks super fabulous gets up an hour or so before the kids so she can get ready!
Of course it’s okay to look okay, just don’t wear pajamas and ugg boots. You have to look halfway decent in case you’re pulled over by the cops! Or some gorgeous hunk o spunk…..
I have done both in winter but luckily was not pulled over!
I will confess to being VERY late one day….it WAS my day off and my teenage daughter was more than capable of getting herself organised, making lunch etc. and I DID wear the uggies and put a track suit OVER my PJs, brushing my teeth and out the door (my hair doesn’t need attention). Daughter was cringing in case anyone noticed!
Gillian, a track suit’s fine, I wear them in winter.
Hi Nikki and all,
I really love your style posts on what we might wear on an ordinary day. I work at home a lot, and have good work clothes, and then lots of casual clothes for weekends and drop off to school days. I’ve picked up heaps of tips from you which I love – writes she in her Emerson coloured jeans 🙂
I think there is something about confidence building about spending an extra five to ten minutes on myself, which is all I spend to look a little more “together”. A quick blowdry and a few mins on makeup. I have a friend who routinely turns up in tracksuit pants, an old jumper and uncombed hair. It doesn’t worry me what she looks like – I love her anyway she comes – but she always complains she is fat (which she is not), ugly (which she is not) and feels really insecure. I sometimes think if she took the extra few minutes, she might feel differently about herself, from the inside, more than from the outside.
Anyway, I love your posts, and I see nothing wrong with a slick of lippy in the morning (at the traffic lights), and I too like to see my son off with a healthy breakfast. We can do both!
Luc, I too do not judge how people choose to wear but I certainly like to help them if they’re ready for a lift or a change. Maybe see if you’re friend would like you to take her shopping? Share your tips with her if she’s wanting to make a change.
since reading Nikki’s posts showing her every day looks I must admit to actually “thinking” about what I’m going to wear on a day home, or even the quick run to the Post Office etc. The other day all I did was put on some BB cream (I’ve broken my virginity), a swipe of mascara and a necklace with the same outfit I’ve worn to the PO before and the PO lady said how lovely I looked. Gave me a boost all day and I’ll swear I achieved more that day than any other. :-S
It is ok to look ok for the school run.
It is ok to not look ok for the school run.
It is not ok to be nasty like those commenters were, they were attacking her from all angles, including the clothes she was wearing…she could not win!
I would love to look fabulous every day for the school run, somedays just being dressed has to be enough.
I know those days only too well, Clairey. The coincide with late nights working. It’s not pretty but it is what it is.
YES INDEEDY it is ok to look ok for the schoolrun or to pick up bread and milk ,those women are just nasty jealous bitter people that don’t know how to dress themselves or don’t care one or the other .Good grooming costs little and that’s the way I was brought up.
I feel good when I look good ,doesn’t have to be expensive or new I just have to look nice or I feel yuck and I’m not trying to impress anyone it’s just for me and lets face it ,it takes the same amount of time to get dressed in something daggy as it does to wear something you feel good in,I wear makeup too everyday just some mascara and a light foundation and blush or bronzer and lipgloss ,because I like what I see in the mirror better and I will make no apology to anyone .
I do it for ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I do it for me too Lisa … and some days I don’t feel like it. That’s ok too.
Totally agree….. you should see me when I clean the house, then I’m a dag but I choose to be.
Great post! A topic close to my heart. There are some days where I am lucky to get out the door with my teeth brushed (and that’s ok!) but I think you do feel better about yourself if you are wearing decent clothes,hair done and a bit of makeup. My hairdresser showed me how to do my hair quickly so I am no constantly in a pony tail for school drop off. I would never judge anyone for what they choose to do but I NEVER wear track suit pants out of the house! : ) Mez from http://www.back-in-gtown.com
Me too Mez re the teeth thing … mainly as I’m still eating my breakfast on the way ; And that’s such a good tip re getting ideas from your hairdresser for a quick and easy do. I’m guilty of the scrape back pony!
“Shame on you” ROFL. Then PMSL. Fashion is fun!
Fashion is fun, yes … and you can have as much fun with it as you want x
As others have said, if I didn’t get dressed for the school run I wouldn’t at all. It is the reason I leave the house in the morning. I like that the fact I put on lippie and mascara means the teacher thinks I’ve got it together. I also love when I put on something new (or new to him!) and my 3 year old son says “That’s a pretty top Mum!” It is ok to look ok!!
Love it Mary … nothing like a son making a comment like that … you hope they continue to make same comments to the people in their lives as they grow up. Beautiful.
One word: Projection.
By people who already feel insecure about themselves, but who at the same time refuse to be responsible for their own choice of feelings and actions.
What others wear have nothing to do with us, unless we project our own internal unfulfilled wishes or unacknowledged (and adopted) expectations onto the innocuous actions of others.
The commentors probably do want to look good, and wish they could feel better about themselves, but they do not and they don’t know what to do about it, so they project all their self-loathing outwards as venom. It’s a powerless choice.
It’s always hard to look inwards, easier to point outwards.
By the way, I totally LOVE your Keeping It Real posts because they are absolutely motivating for me. You are a constant reminder that looking and (more importantly) feeling good is possible! 🙂
Well said, Silver … it is projection. And thanks for loving my posts. My style is not for everyone – I’m just one work-from-home-mum giving an example of how it can be done. And this mum very much loves her PJ days too!
I think it is motivating precisely because you make it so clear that yours is but ONE way of doing it.
It means, “Your way works too. You just have to own it.”
All ways work in the end of course. After all it depends on our personal goals and desires. But this is such a simple thing to forget.
Too easy to believe that there is only ONE way to FEEL GOOD about ourselves, whether we are in PJs or NYDJs! 😉
Despite how much I adore pj days there are some days I actually love to get out my pjs. Some days if I didn’t do the school run I wouldn’t even brush my teeth. Some days if I didn’t do the school run I’d never get to wear a new pair of jeans or new lipgloss. Most days it makes me feel better to put a bit of effort in. In no way do I do that to compete with others or make them feel inadequate. I do it entirely for me and me alone.
I know how that can be, Bianca … have just done a mental check on the teeth clean thing. Pheww, actually remembered to do that!
Great post – reminded me of the time a (normally very stylish) good friend who was running late drove her kids to school in her pj’s, planning to kiss and drop. Then realised she was supposed to be helping in the school canteen at 8.30am – so she parked and did her shift in pj’s. What a great gal – and with a fab sense of humour…
Good on her!
I literally guffawed, reading the comment you quoted above. Because how DARE a woman make herself look and feel a bit nice, when it will just make the other women in the playground feel bad?
ISSUES. The world is full of people with their issues.
How dare she indeed … because it’s all about someone else making you feel good or bad. Last time I looked it was up to me to make me feel good, no-one else. x
I admit it took term 1 for me feel like I did not need to do celebrity style glam at my sons private school gate! Now I have it sussed.
I love what you do. I think people really just like to put people down. It’s sad that that is what makes them feel some self worth.
Yes, I think it’s sad that people feel the need to put others down. Very sad.
Yes to everything you just said Nikki!
Thanks Sandra. Love your style!
I wear Garnier BB Cream every day because I like the way it feels on my skin and how it evens me out. I wore trackies today to do the drop off (Kiss and Drop, not out of the car) because I had one spew kid on the car and had already changed once due to being covered in it once already.
But even working from home, I try to not look like I have been dragged through a bush backwards. But each to their own I say! I do not know why OTHER people would ave a problem with it!
Great Post Nikki xx
I’d be lost without my BB … and the kiss and drop! Am a big fan – as you are – of just throwing on the scarf. This and my sunnies are all that’s seen from the window of my car.
Totally agree with your points. I dress how I like to make me feel good, regardless of where I am going or what I am doing. It’s great for one’s self-esteem. Those people who made those comments need to get a life.
They do … maybe if they stopped being so narky their view on life would change.
I don’t understand how making yourself feel a little better by taking a few minutes to make yourself look a little better is a bad thing, or how it could possibly be hurting anyone?!
I’m a happier, more confident person when I’ve a little slap on and clothes that suit my figure and the occasion. That may make me shallow but I think there’s room for everyone in the world!
Absolutely! And if I wasted an entire day on my own appearance, then yes, maybe I’d have a problem but I’m all about wardrobe planning ahead and a quick beauty fix. Makes me feel so much better!
I’m a tinted moisturiser, bronzer and mascara girl for every day stuff and it makes me feel better, it’s never done to look better than anyone else or make anyone feel bad. Sometimes it’s paired with a nice outfit and sometimes it’s whatever was clean… just like almost everyone else I’ve ever met.
The commenter’s words speak volumes about her own issues than the people she is judging.
Yes, I certainly agree regarding the reflection on the commenters. That was one of my first thoughts on the matter. What a horrid negative life they must lead 🙁
Plus you have that inner glow, Glowy … you can’t buy that 😉
I love that blogging is somehow such a time sink that you can’t possibly feed and bathe yourself, let alone your little tackers, if you so much as glance at a keyboard. Ha! No one multitasks like a blogger.
So true, Lara … I can multi-task like no-one’s business!