The Manland bogan files

ManLand: the one about Aussie men’s fashion crimes

Kester HubbardManLand 27 Comments

I am, you are, we are … Australiannnnn!

With January 26 on my mind I’ve decided to have a bit of fun and create a hit list of crimes in Australian men’s fashion. You may not agree, and that’s fine but I’d love to know what you think.

The flanno

A nice chequered shirt should be a staple in any Australian man’s wardrobe. There is great versatility and it can be easily dressed up or dressed down depending on the occasion and the weather conditions. But when it’s worn to death and without any sense of style, the chequered shirt quickly becomes a flanno and the uniform of the bogan – both the traditional and new–age, cashed-up varieties.

The singlet

Another victim of being loved too much by all the wrong people is the singlet; Whether it is a faded blue “Jackie Howe” (named after the famous Queensland sheep shearer of the 1800s), the Bali Bintang special or some garishly logo-ed number worn by a young punk at a music festival.

Footy shorts

The classic accompaniment to the flanno and the singlet is a pair of footy shorts. Designed to be worn on the football field, these shorts all too often appear down at the shops or at the beach being strutted around by a bloke who just doesn’t care what he looks like, or wants to make a statement about just how “tough” he is.

Southern Cross tattoos

Not clothing, but still a fashion piece of sorts and a personal hate of mine. Once upon a time wearing the national constellation was just about being patriotic. But with every other feral in the place jumping on board, nothing screams trashy bogan louder than these five stars inked across your chest, or back, or calf, or anywhere for that matter.

Sluggos/ budgie smugglers

Whatever you want to call them, men’s swimming trunks have a very specific niche in wearability … for swimming! (Ed’s note: and preferably as a ripped member of the Australian men’s swimming squad).  That means it’s not ok to wander around in them when you are not swimming, showing everyone just how much, or how little, of a man you are. Put some shorts on please.

Here’s some we prepared earlier:

The Manland bogan files

Aussie blokes giving fashion a bad wrap. Thoughts?

Can you think of any other men’s Aussie fashion crimes?  What do Australian men get right in the style stakes?


What I’m loving this month

manland picks

1. RobynGraphs photographic neckties $60: Created by Robyn Hills, a photographer and helicopter pilot from Caloundra on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast, these neckties use parts of classically Australian images to make statements as wearable art.

2. Mix Apparel at Coles tee $15: The Stylist has been talking up this range for a while but this was the first garment that she came home with for me. Now, I’M convinced you don’t necessarily need to spend a heap of money to get a nice, well-cut t-shirt. Wouldn’t mind a couple more.

3. PHOENIX by Keith Urban fragrance from $24.95: How’s this for Aussie? Country Music star, Keith Urban, has released a fragrance named Phoenix – possibly in reference to the resurrection of his career following various substance abuse problems as a younger man. Urban was very hands on in creating a leathery gourmand scent with top notes of blackberries, cognac and plum that segues into the aromas of dark chocolate and crisp fir balsam with a finish of warm cashmere wood in the background. It gets the Stylist’s scent of approval too. Available in David Jones, Priceline and Terry White pharmacies. 

Top photo montage: from here, here, here, and here.

Comments 27

  1. BAHAHAHAHA the mullett on the guy in the flanno is fantastic!

    I’m afraid I have to say that my man as all of the first 3 – flanno, singlet and footy shorts its just an aussie guy thing… haha

  2. According to Mr James stonewashed denim jeans, slap shoes (apparently some kind of martial arts slip on) & long socks (footy socks the exception) should be added to this list. I vote the old man favourite sock & sandal combo is also on the fashion police watch list!

  3. So, so true! Another name for the singlet is the bluey or wife beater! Lol! 10 years ago, whilst living in the USA, I almost got a tatatto of the southern cross, but thankfully decided on my star sign! It wasn’t popular than, but has now become a sign of not national pride but boganism if there is such a word! And thr budgy smugglers are so wrong, my husband seems to think when he is a dad, it’s his right if passage to wear them everywhere! Let’s hope I can change his mind! Love the pre Australia day post, a tribute to the VB drinking, footy short, blue singlet with a beer gut, supporting the southern cross tatatto wearing Aussie bogan men!

  4. My hubby lives in baggy grey singlets with holes in and ruggers……cant change him, I’ve tried, he says he gets to hot or uncomfortable!

  5. What about in the hairstyle stakes – there is the mullet (in various forms), rats tails (often on younger boys) and for the oldies a big favorite – the comb-over! All tend to go with the above wardrobe!

  6. Baggy Jeans with boxers showing….eeeuuuw, too skinny jeans especially on over 30’s…….YUK! Mullets, flannel shirts (anything bogan really) ! Mid calf socks pulled up tight on shins worn with long baggy shorts, soccer shirts, fake designer baseball caps (anything Chav really) All gross!!! My biggest turn off though isn’t just about clothes as such………its dirty clothes, lack of deodorant and basic hygiene !!! Looking forward to some stylish menswear posts 😉 x

  7. We are just talking about it and hubby says definitely ciggies up the tight tee shirt sleeve. No belt with trousers that have loops. those horrible slipper shoes billies. Thongs with jeans. Undies showing with low riders, with the fork down at the knees and the waistband on the hips. Skinny jeans on blokes. This is from the old fashioned country dudes young and old in the car.and daughter says jewellery – loud necklaces and earrings and bracelets.

  8. Being mum to two twenty-somethings… I’ve been telling boys to pull their pants up for years! I still do not understand why their jeans cover only half their butt, leaving us to view their underwear!

  9. I don’t own, and have never owned a flanno despite growing up in feral bogan central. Go me!
    I also dispise the southern cross tattoo (or the stickers on cars). Nothing screams ‘cockwad’ bigger than that tatt. Getting it has nothing to do with patriotism.

  10. That’s hilarious 🙂 Fortunately, I’m blessed with a very fashionable husband, so nothing funny to tell about his style in clothes. But it certainly gave me a laugh looking at the photos in your post!

  11. I think one of the big problems with alot of our men and their clothing choices is that (like the boys they tend to be on the inside) if they fall in love with something or are sentimental about it they will wear it to death, as in, every day they can get away with it. Don’t they all have something in the cupboard that they’ve had for more than 15 years? My husband was still trying to squeeze into a 20 year old polar fleece jacket that was at least 1 size too small – he couldn’t see how hideous it was, even when his kids pointed it out!

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