At 5am today I officially turned another year older. I cannot escape the indisputable fact that if you double my current age I would be considered elderly. I am, therefore, MIDDLE AGED.
How did I get here and where is my crisis?
These deep and meaningful questions I decided to ponder in the early hours of Sunday morning, having bid farewell to the last of my birthday party guests and stumbled into bed, urging Mr Styling You to put a hold on his OCD-need to clean up until the morning.
If Mr Styling You took my urging him to stop cleaning and get himself into bed as an invitation for a “special” birthday gift, he would have been hugely disappointed. The minute my head hit that pillow, I was gone. Drooling on my pillow gone.
He would have seen the smile on my face though and probably mistaken it for me dreaming about that aforementioned special birthday gift.
I was dreaming of a birthday online shopping excursion that involved an unlimited credit card, someone who pays said credit card at the end of the month, and the many parcels that were set to arrive at my door, extending my birthday festivities even further into June.
Want to know what I bought?
2. Mulberry Oversized Alexa leather bag £914.17 at Net-A-Porter
3. Burberry Cotton-blend trench £544.68 at Net-A-Porter
6. Uberkate Family Compass $925
7. Jimmy Choo Vamp sandal $US750
And then I was kinda on an online shopping roll …
As I was just about to organise Christmas in New York when I felt a tap, tap, tapping on my head. And there was a soundtrack to the tapping: “Mum, MUM, MUUMM! wake up, I’m bored. I want some breakfast.”
Slowly the realisation hit that all of the above would NOT be landing on my door step any time soon.
Reality bites all that bit harder when you are a woman of a certain age who partied like it was her 21st the night before. Now where is that crisis when you need it?